Last Day downtown!

Cory was actually up a little earlier than I this morning, so after I began moving we decided to meet up. After getting cleaned up, I decide to take full advantage of my El Cortez booking offer. Not only did it come with three comped nights, $25 in dining credit, $25 in free play (which I didn't use), but it also came with a free miniature bottle of booze of my choosing. That extra little "perk" is what put me over the edge, I think...... I take my offer downstairs and across the street to the gift shop and cash in my slip to get my now prestigious miniature bottle of Bacardi Rum. NOW I'm a high roller....

There are a lot of restaurants in the downtown area, but this time around we opt to give some business back to the Main Street Station Brew Pub. We had them last year around this time, and they were a decent selection then. It was about 11:00 AM, and they should be opening for the lunch crowd at any second. Our timing was uncanny as they were just about to take the "please come back later" signs down as we arrived. Score.

As we get in, I order a large water right away. I was parched from the night before and needed a little something to help kick start my system. Once we scan over the menu for a good while the waitress comes over to take or order. Cory has his decision made right away. I of course think I'm ready to go, but once it comes back to me, I'm a fumbling idiot. The waitress suggests some sort of spinach / veggie "burger" to which I reply "Oh, I can't eat spinach. Every time I do, this funny music starts playing, my muscles quintuple in size, I develop the strong urge to smoke a wooden pipe (toot toot!), and I want to fight any fat dark bearded man in sight!" She thinks my lame joke is rather well placed and timed and seems to enthuse a genuine laugh. A few moments later when she returns I opt for some sort of mushroom burger with two oyster shooters on the side. To round things out, we again get another beer sampler.

Main Street Station Beer Sampler!

My mushroom burger. Eh.

That god damn photobomber again!

Oyster shooters. All mine!

My burger was fine, but nothing to write home about. Cory seemed to think that his food was a little lacking this time around as well. It was decent, but we both agreed that our previous visit was better. The oysters however, were divine.

Our journey now takes us into Binion's where we decide to try our luck at their Texas Shoot Out game. I have no idea why, as we were severely kicked in the balls multiple times in rapid succession. The dealers simply couldn't miss. I did manage to get three rum and diets out of the deal, but at an average cost of about $33 a piece, they weren't that great. I notice Cory is looking in the opposite direction so I hold my finger out about an inch away from his face. I say "Hey!" to which he of course rapidly turns around only to hit my protruding finger with his face. Ha! I got you good, succor!

We make our way back to the El Cortez, and hang out for a few minutes. Just enough time to get some more spending cash, and to have a few Grey Goose shots mixed in with some five hour energy.

Fremont East, just before the El Cortez.

Belly shot!

Nothing but healthy vitamins in those bottles. (uh huh)

Post mixing.

Not the most masculine looking drink, but it works.

And towards the end of the hallway at the El Cortez Cabana Suites.

Now is about the time we were meeting up with B7's at the Golden Nugget. A few of us were meeting downtown for a small poker tournament. Yours truly had won the prestigious event last year, so now I had to defend my title. We meet up at the bar closest to the poker room, and I order Cory and I a Grey Goose Orange and diet coke. I don't know why, but it just seemed like a good idea at the time. Turns out it wasn't a bad mix at all. We putter our way over to the Plaza where our pay-per-view poker extravaganza event was scheduled to take place. Not too much longer Mr. Big Pants made his appearance. This year there were only four people who were able to take part in the tournament, so we turned the event into a longest lasting winner. Out of the four of us, whomever lasted the longest would be considered the "winner" and thus be entitled to the trophy for a year.

Our buddy Duster from Omaha was also able to show up and meet up with us at the Plaza. He was in town planning on hitting up a few of the higher buy in tournaments at a few different properties. He had just taken a horrible beat at a tournament at the Binion's Classic where his flopped queen high straight lost to an opponent's flopped set when it paired on the river.

At the "poker room" inside the Plaza our group attempted to work some magic to see if we could get a dealer to deal a quick few rounds of cards between us four, but it really didn't pan out. Unfortunately we'd have to wait about forty five minutes. Seems the Plaza already has ten players committed (and fully paid) for the tournament, yet we have to wait for some odd reason. We patiently do, and before too long the cards are in the air.

It's not a long lasting tournament. For us it was a $20 buy in which gets you $1,000 in chips. Blinds go up every twelve (I think) minutes, and it's a winner take all situation. The prize is $150 to the top dog, and the top dog only. All four of us opt to not take the $5 add on which would give you another $500 in chips. Gulp....

Luckily for me my bluffs worked at the right time, and I was also fortunate enough to pick up a few hands which paid off. To my genuine surprise I was collecting a few chips. Mr. Big Pants and B7's were unfortunately card dead and never really had time to get into their game. The blinds were going up rather quickly and before too long it was down to Cory and myself for the trophy. At this point in the game there are five players left. Cory and I see a flop and I'm holding a dismal off suite 6-9. The board brought out a lovely 7-8-10 rainbow. Cory leads out and bets $1,000 which was more than half his stack. I figure I have him trapped and this is another hand no one would see coming. I move all in, and he calls. His ace-ten is no good, and is bounced. That's twice I've snapped him off with horrible cards this trip.

A player in the one seat moves all in, and I call with a not so impressive J-7. I actually hit the flop (and turn and river) and bounced him with my flush. It was now down to three of us, and I was only slightly behind the leader in chips. I try to make a play with a 2-3 when I flop bottom pair, but I'm raised rather heavily and have to let it go. A hand later I'm dealt an attractive looking ace-queen. My opponent bets, and I raise all in only to be called down. I figure I'm in pretty good shape and when I see him turn up ace-jack I figure the tournament is in the bag for me after this hand. Not so much. Not only did he flop a jack, but he managed to river a flush on me. Duster's comment of "How many ways can you get beat in one hand?" was entirely accurate. I was bounced in 3rd place out of ten. But, in the end, the trophy will stay in Omaha for at least another year.

B7's shows me what quads look like in video poker... He made it look so easy!

Oh yes, it's pretty.....it's sooo pretty.

Mr. Big Pants offers B7's a ride to the strip, while the three of us riff-raff opt to continue to wander around downtown. It doesn't take long before we come across something that catches our eye. Some dude in a cheetah / leopard print suite seems to be getting ready for some type of "show." Curiosity has the best of us, so we hang around and wait to see what unfolds. He was a contortionist of sorts.... It was entertaining, I'll give him that. I got my money's worth out of the deal (which was nothing!).

"What's this dude doing?"

"This can only end badly."

I didn't know if I should be curious or scared.

Man in a box!

The conclusion.

For your viewing pleasure, if you'd like to see the entire performance, you can here. Around the 1:07 mark you can see Cory and Duster showing their approval. At about the 1:11 mark, you'll hear me voice my lack of impressed opinion. :)

Once that interesting performance is over, we continue on our journey back to the El Cortez. To kick things off right I start by buying Cory and I a football each of rum and diet. Duster opted out. We make a stop in at one of the souvenir shops to see if Cory has any luck this time around. While he's perusing the goods, Duster buys three 24 ounce Bud Light cans. I guess that'll be enough to get him started.

We make it back to the El Cortez in short time. Cory of course is still sipping on his football (need a nipple on that thing, fella?) and mine is now pretty much all ice. We show Duster the rooms we managed to snag for free and hang out for a few minutes. I happened to come up with the bright idea of having some shots in the room before we venture out. "Rumor" has it I wandered out of the bathroom with my pants wide open, and said something along the lines of "hey guys, what do you think of this?" while looking down. I'm not saying I'd ever do something like that....but perhaps I would after 60 ounces of rum and coke are in me. (You have to grow old, but you can stay immature forever!)

I somehow convince Duster that he needs to "shotgun" another beer. Yeah, they're the 24 ounce variety, but I'm not drinking it so I really don't cut him much slack. He futility argues with me and then has the audacity to question my beer puncturing skills. In the end, I managed to make a perfect hole in the bottom of his beer can, and snap a few pictures in the process of Duster demolishing a 24 ounce beer in record time. He didn't puss out, and I won't count the drops on his shirt against him. Well done, Sir! We collect our remaining hooch (some Goose, and our free minis) and wander outside after grabbing a free banana.

Once we get outside and are standing near the valet parking area, I notice two dudes making a video across the way.

I'm not sure what really "made" me do it, but I sprinted across the empty driveway, hopped over the partition, and totally video bombed the guy who seemed to be dancing some sort of jig for the camera.

I thought it was hilarious and was hoping I wouldn't get punched. Turns out I video bombed Bobby from stardustfallout.com. They're a group of local guys who review happenings in the area. They mostly concentrate on the music and entertainment scene but will post things about other non-traditional happenings.

They showed me the video in which you see my stupid drunk happy ass randomly jumping in front of the lens. It was totally awesome, and gut bustingly funny. They told me it'd be on YouTube in the coming days, however I have yet to see it. I've sent them an email asking for the video (if they chose not to post it) however I have yet to receive a response. Oh well. If I do get access to a copy of it, I'll be sure to post it online.

I attempted to signal my "Show Stopper" hand pose, but I couldn't seem to get my index finger a little higher. Despite them not sending me that pre-promised awesome video, I'll still give them a plug. They seem to have some cool stuff on their site. They're also on Facebook and Twitter for those die hard Vegas fans. If anyone comes across a video with my stupid ass in it, please let me know.

We say our goodbyes and manage to hail a taxi cab. on the way there I happen to "accidentally" leave my half eaten banana in the back of the cab. I'm sure someone found some enjoyment out of that at some point in the future. Harrah's was our stop, and we were going to hang with Duster for a few minutes in his comped suite.

Duster was assigned to the 32nd floor, and while in the elevator I thought I was being cool and started pressing a bunch of buttons to mess with the elevator. It took me a second to realize I was pressing the numbers for the floors BELOW where we were needing to go. Damn it. So instead of messing with anyone looking for an elevator after we depart, I screwed us. To avert this issue, we just got off on the next floor, and took another elevator. I'm no longer allowed to press any buttons when my friends are near by.

The suite was pretty bad ass, and we just hung out for a little bit. I staggered off to find some ice for our remaining Grey Goose. Once it had ample time to chill, I mixed some "cocktails" (if you can call them that) in the bathroom. I poured equal amounts of Bacardi and Grey Goose into two of the glasses, while the third had an equal amount of water in it. I filled all the glasses with ice so no one would be obviously suspicious. Cory and Duster each took their glass, while I nonchalantly handled my "alcoholic" beverage as well.

We hang out in Duster's suite for a few minutes before heading out to meet Alora on our way to Planet Hollywood. Before we depart, I manage to set a 4:30 AM wakeup call for Duster's room. Bwahahaha......

Duster departs in search of food and Cory and I meet up with Alora. We meet the rest of the gang (Mr. Big Pants, B7s, and Pebbles) at Planet Hollywood and share in a round of drinks. Again, Mr. Big Pants and B7s show me how seemingly simple it is to hit quads in video poker. I must be doing something wrong.... In short order we decide to head on over to Imperial Palace to hook up with some other Vegas degenerates. On our way we saw a fully costumed Joker and Catwoman perusing the strip accepting photo opportunities at the right price.

Before too long we're now in company with Mychal (and friend), SHF, Rog, Duster and Level1. Drinks are a little bit cheaper at IP, so we're a little less hesitant on buying round after round. No one in our group is seemingly brave enough to stand up on stage for a little bit of karaoke, so we take the opportunity to catch up from our current trips in addition to whatever's been happening in everyone's lives. It was a really great time and the crowd was into the entire scene. I was told to, how'd he put it...."fuck off" when I attempted to photo bomb a group of guys singing up on stage. Later I tried to make amends by offering to buy a round of drinks, only to be told to vacate the area by the same douche bag. His buddies were cool enough and told him to calm down a bit. They mentioned how it was his bachelor party and he's rather obliterated at the moment so to please try and pardon his belligerent behavior. Eh, whatever.

We also took the opportunity to pose in some pictures at the expense of a passed out individual towards the back of the bar. He appeared to be by himself, so I'm not really sure what happened with him at the end of the night. I'm sure the drink strapped to his back didn't help with regard to keeping him conscious. Pebbles was more than willing to pose for pictures with him too.

Good times.

Yes, my chin is touching Cory's head.

Drunken ladies singing...always a good time.

The one on the right was rather toasted.

I told Cory to stand up there just for a picture. That's all.

The crowd.

Cheers!

Pebbles giving an intimate wet willie!

Cheese!

No comment.

Nighty night time.

One more parting shot.

As the night starts to conclude I walk Alora about halfway back to her hotel. In the midst of our departing I realize I left my cell phone back at Imperial Palace, and can only imagine what sort of messages "I'm" sending to my contact list. We depart and find that SHF "safely" held onto my phone. And when I say "safely" I really mean that he wasn't able to successfully send a suggestive text message to Cory. Nice try though, man!

Cory and I offer to walk Pebbles back to her hotel and we say our goodbyes. We start on the long journey back to Excalibur while taking advantage of the tram between Aria and Monte Carlo. Once we get to the tower Pebbles is staying at, we again exchange hugs and Cory and I hail a cab to take us back to our resident hotel.

On our way back to Excalibur.

Aria.

With the flash, but a bit blurry.

The next morning was basically a recovery time period. I went across the street to the El Cortez coffee shop and after inhaling an orange juice and two doughnuts for myself, bought us both some sort of iced mocha. The airport was much like it is on any other departure from Vegas. Slow, and exhausting. I did manage to snap one last (blurry) pic of some of the beautiful people leaving town (aside from us).

Whoa...this is the theme of the trip....

Until next time Vegas.......

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