"How high are you?"  
"No officer, it's 'Hi, how are you?' " - Cheech Marin

Friday May 10th, 2019


It started off as your typical first day of a new Vegas adventure.  Your body wakes you up 17 minutes before the scheduled alarm has a chance to go off.  Seems about right.  

Just as I'm packing up my last minute toiletries, I thought I'd take the initiative, and coat myself in sunscreen before I leave the house.  This way it'll have time to dry and soak in before I land in Vegas.  Bad idea.....very bad idea.  Seems I managed to get some into my eyes (dumbass!).  I didn't really notice until I started the dreary drive to the airport and noticed "hrmm....my eyes sting a little, and all the headlights look abnormally bright this morning."  It progressively got worse, but I managed to make it without veering off the road into a ravine.  Once inside the airport and by the terminal, I purchased an over priced ($9!) small bottle of eye drops.  It started to help, and I quietly sat, attempted to rest, and wait for my flight to be called.

It doesn't take too long before we line up the A boarding group.  I noticed the couple next to me in my prestigious A20-A25 section had boarding passes reading A-50-something.  I wanted to tell them they were either stupid for being in the wrong section, or perhaps they knew what they were doing, and in which case I wanted to tell them I wished  they'd  die in a fire, then have wild animals pick over their charred carcases.  Being as I just wanted to keep to myself, I did just that.  The boarding attendant did tell them "next time wait for your section."  Yeah, damn rednecks!  

Flight was short and sweet.  I had a window seat, while another tall dude took the aisle.  We managed to have an empty seat between us which was a small win.  I attempted to doze off during the flight, but the only thing I accomplished was missing the opportunity to order a desperately needed water.  Oh well, time to land!

Getting close...Closer.....Landed!Vegas......

After finding my luggage, I make my way over to the adjacent parking structure to summon my free uber.  Bellagio has a promotion where new Uber accounts are given up to a $20 free ride for using their promotional code.  Sounds good to me.  

I'm dropped off at Bellagio, and hand over my bags.  The first order of business was to get some food at Mon Ami Gabi.  The outside seating was fairly crowded, so instead of waiting, I opted to be seated inside.  I was just starving at the moment, and wanted something to eat.  At the recommendation of my previous travel companion, Rob, I went with the lemon french crepe, a coffee, and a side of hasbrowns.   I was not disappointed, and couldn't finish everything.

Everyone waiting for their ride.COFFEE!Lemon crepeAaaand the bill.

Now that my fat ass isn't dieing of malnutrition for the first time today, I started off with my adventure of hitting up a dispensary.  I used the monorail station at Ballys and after a brief, and relatively quiet ride, got off at the SLS station.  Just as a heads up, when you pay for a monorail ticket with cash, you're given dollar coins as change.  So that's fun.  

After passing the oddball standing completely still in the picture below (with his eyes closed the entire time), I near my destination.  I thought I'd hit up Essence, since it's right at the end of the strip before Stratosphere.  To my disappointment, they open at 10:00 AM, so I still have about 15 minutes to kill.  I'm standing against the wall to Essence, scrolling through my phone when I hear someone shout "I had the best psychologist in the world...couldn't do nothing!"  Oh boy.... luckily the dude talking loudly to himself was across the stree-...oh wait, what's this?  He's heading my way...  great...  The tweaker looking guy crosses the street and continues towards the Strat.  I have my phone out, and press record for an audio memo, and for some reason, he says "I wouldn't do that my man!"  I think "is he talking to me?"  Then I hear "Yo!...  Yeah, don't turn around!"  He's seemingly looking at me, but I don't know what he's talking about.  Then it's "I can give you a trip!  You want a trip?!"  Yeah, I dunno....  Fucking Vegas.....

In short order a small group of people are standing at the front door waiting for it to swing open.  The crowd is pretty funny to listen to, and a few chuckles are had.  Security shortly after lets us inside.

Thanks for the change...Vegas weirdos....EssenceKilling timeKeeping it classy...The only pic I was able to take.
Once inside, you're basically asked "So, what are you looking for?"  I let them know I was looking for Indica based edibles.  They gave me a run down of their offerings, and I made my selections.  All in all, I believe I picked up three different selections, and just like that, was out the door.  

I figured, I'd hit up the Planet 13 dispensary as well, so another quick Uber ride, and I was ready to walk into dispensary number two for the day.

I'd say this place was obviously a larger establishment, but in the end, I feel they had very similar offerings to what Essence had.  After getting my entry ticket, I walked into the showroom and was greeted by a chipper wimper-snapper giving me the run down of how they operate.  If you know exactly what you want, just give that item number to the cashier, and you're out the door with your goods.  If you want to talk to a budtender for more information, the line is over here.  That's what I opted to do.  Within a few minutes I was talking to a gal and giving her the details on what I was looking for.  Something that can help alleviate chronic pain, help with sleep, not necessarily a mind "woo-woo" type of high for the wife.  I was in the market for a hybrid type of edible.  She made her recommendations, and about $140 later, I was on my way....  

Entry from the small parking lotThe owners.Digital fish...My "ticket"
Yep, that's weed...Picture from outside after shopping.My wares so far...
So far, I hadn't really noticed too much of a difference between what was offered at Essence versus Planet 13.  They both have the same basic stuff in my estimation.  Now granted, I wasn't in the market for any flower products, so I wouldn't know how they differ from each other in that regard.  But both seemingly offered the same exact products pertaining to edibles.  

After a quick gummy stop in the room, I ran downstairs to grab some gelato.  I went with the Snickers and dulce de leche combination.  No complaints.  I wandered over to the Pai Gow section at Bellagio, and I had low expectations about being able to play due to the limits on a Friday afternoon.  Three tables each had at least one player betting $25 a hand, so I didn't bother to ask.  Instead, I took the tram over to Monte Carlo The Park.  


GELATO!This sign? No good...My room number...because I've forgotten before.

After a brief walk around the finished property, I had to sit down at the awful game of face up pai gow.  That seemed to be all that was being offered.  I was trying to see where the casino's edge would be, and it came in the form of all hands are nullified if the dealer has an ace high pai gow.  Oooof.  I sat for far too long, chatting it up with the friendly table.  There was a couple from Oklahoma seated, with the husband being next to me in first base, while his wife was in third.  We chatted up a while, and he even "bought" me a drink (tipped the waitress for me) after we played a friendly guessing game of "who's older?"  (I won).  The hours quickly passed, and it was time for me to take my slight losses, and head back to the room.  Time to re-load and head downtown to see what was being offered.

Make America Naked Again!Creepy Spiderman likes to watchGetting ready to make that money!
As you can see from my first round of pictures, it appears I got there just in time for some of the "talent" to get setup.  The 95% naked cowboy was holding up a sign reading "Make America Naked Again."  Creepy Asian Spiderman with a sub par dirty costume likes to watch the action from afar...  

In and out...Nothing I need hereI have no idea where or why I took this picture.
I ventured over to El Cortez to see what was happening in that neck of the woods.  Sadly I didn't see anything that really jumped out at me.  Some of the table games have been moved around, and the roulette tables are more spread out throughout the casino floor.  The minimums tonight were one dollar chips, with a minimum of $5 on the field.  I know, you're not going to find any lower roulette minimums on a Friday night in Vegas, but I wasn't feeling it tonight.  I ventured across the street to Container Park in hopes of finding something decent to eat.  I wasn't starving, but I figured I was going to need to eat something before the night is over.  Of course, nothing jumped out at me there either.  

I head back towards Binions and the Golden Nugget and see some police officers harassing the men that are walking by.  Come to think of it......  I don't think they were actually REAL law enforcement officers!

Breaking the law!I have no idea where or why I took this picture.

In any case, off to the 4 Queens we go!

Tonight the property was pretty busy.  That being said, it wasn't difficult finding an available seat at most of the table games.  I first played that stupid $6 blackjack-spin-the-wheel-on-a-21 game and lost.  I did not have nearly as much fun on that this time around as I was hoping.  I want to say I was probably sitting there for an hour or two before moving over to the pinnacle of all casino carney games....  blackjack switch.  Yes, yes I know.....  The drinks were catching up to me, and well....it was a decent time.  Certainly not profitable by any means, but after licking my wounds, it was time to scurry away.

I'm going to preface this next set of pictures with the old fashioned "I have no idea when/where/why I took these pics" statement.  And as all of us Vegas nerds know, that statement totally clears me of any negative backlash.  

Ted? I guess...?No ideaWhy hello there...She seems nice...Drawing a blank...
At this point in the evening, I was ready to take my losses and turn in.  I was heavy eyed, and with one quick Uber right back to the hotel, it was time to crash after being up for about 23 hours.  Zzzzzz....


Saturday May 11th, 2019



After unsuccessful attempts to fall back asleep, my body decided it was time to get moving.  I had a brunch scheduled at Herringbone at Aria, so I had some time to kill.

I scan over the Bellagio pai gow limits, but since some players were already present, I didn't ask to lower the limits.  Instead, I ventured next door to Cosmo to see what was happening.  To my surprise, there was a $15 table with one other player.  The pit boss mistakenly had the incorrect minimum displayed (was supposed to be $25) but since I had already bought in, they continued to let me play at the lower limit.  I started my session off with a Bailey's and coffee.  

The other player at the table was rather sporadic.  He had about $500 in green chips in front of him and would bet anywhere from $100 to $200 a hand, with an average $50 on the bonus.  He burned through that money within a few hands, and left to find the nearest ATM.  Within a few minutes, the process was repeated.  I quietly collected on a few winning hands, while watching the carnage this guy was putting himself through.  All in all, I'd say he made about three trips to the ATM, returning each time with $500, and blasting through it all within a few hands.  I had switched over to a bloody mary towards the end of my winning session, and my brunch time was nearing.  

Just as I'm standing up, I hear someone buying into the War table behind me for $3,000.  Yeah......  I figured I'd watch a hand or two to see how this plays out.

Damn good bloody mary...Cosmo is a weird place...Cringeworthy.
The dude neatly stacks up a $1,000 bet made up of mostly green chips, and the cards are dealt.  If you can see in the third picture above, he's given a three, and his wife's reaction says it all.  Then the dealer is dealt a three as well....  Time for WAR!  Another bet is placed, and this time he wins.  I collect my winnings and in short order make my way over towards Aria for brunch.

Robo penis....words...blah blah blah...
Anything can be used as a dildo if you're brave enough......  Anything!

In short order, I'm at Herringbone a little bit early.  It's not an issue to move up my reservation, as they weren't too busy at this hour.  

Kitchen menuRound one!  Fight!Another damn good bloody mary.Crab and lobsterLoco Moco!
The Herringbone brunch has a few buffet style stations, as well as a kitchen menu, all of which is included in the price.  They have your basic carving station where they also make your omelets, eggs, etc.  There's a seafood station, and around the corner they also have a fruit, yogurt, and juice station.  In the middle of the room you'll find the table offering various desserts.  

I started off with their version of a huevos rancheros, although I'm not 100% sure that's correct.  I opted to add the  $40 all you can drink option, and started with another bloody mary.  I made a quick visit to the seafood station for some crab and lobster.  As the waitress came back around, I asked for a recommendation for a kitchen dish.  She suggested the loco moco, and I didn't object.  It was....okay.  

Dessert TimeWith watermelon juice....I ordered wings.bleh
Unfortunately I wasn't actually as hungry as I initially thought.  I picked through a few dessert offerings.  I figured I couldn't leave without ordering at least another item off the kitchen menu, so for some reason I opted for the wings (I don't know why).  They were fucking huge!  The gochujang sauce was pretty tangy and powerful, and to my regret, I could only eat one.  I felt bad for ordering an entire dish.  I was done.  

When the bill made its way towards me, they were nice enough to only charge me $16 each for my two bloody mary's instead of the $40 for unlimited beverages.  It was a nice change of pace, and a cool place.  I'd give it another try, but I'd recommend coming with a massive amount of room in your stomach to get the full experience.  

Poker timeAt this point in the morning I have a significant amount of time to kill before my evening plans, so I make my way over to Excalibur.  They have a super serious limit poker 2-6 spread game there, and it's actually pretty fun.  Frankly, in my humble opinion, there's not really any other reason to go to Excalibur......ever.

I buy in, and am quickly greeted by a Vegas local by the name of Rodney.  He's a talkative fellow.  Nice.....  But never shuts up.  He quickly gave me the nick name of "Nebraska."  "Hey, 'Nebraska' what's there to do there?" For the record, yes, we have running water, paved streets, the world's best rated zoo, Warren Buffet, and the majority of us aren't hicks.  

The game kicks off, and Rodney tells me he played with a girl last night who moved from Omaha to Vegas.  "Ah, that's cool" was my only reaction.  Soon enough, she makes her appearance for another session, with an over sized Starbucks-mocha-whip-latte-bullshit type of drink.  Of course she has to be super cute and ends up sitting next to me.  In my mind, I nickname her "my future ex-wife."

Through chit chat we get to know each other a little bit, and she tells me "Yeah, I miss the Old Market a lot."  I'll be damned, she IS from Omaha if she knows what the Old Market is.  

As it turns out, another player at the table is from Lincoln Nebraska, and tells us one of his 30 year old employees didn't wake up yesterday morning, so he's out in Vegas to give her parents condolences.  Uh.....what a cock blocking buzz kill.

Thanks man.

The session is basically what I think it was going to be.  A lot  of me making stupid chasing calls, and blindly raising the max when I have the button.  It was a fun time, and I actually managed to make a profit somehow.  

After a few hours, I said my good byes to my new poker friends, and had to head back to the hotel.

Time to get ready for Love at Mirage tonight!


One for me and one for me!"No officer, it's 'hi, how are you?'"And we're off!
I mix a few pre-show cocktails (one for me, and one for me), and indulge in an edible on my way out the door.  I still have some time to kill before the 7:00 show time, so I'm in no rush.  

I wander throughout the Mirage for about an hour before making my way to the box office.  I decided to buy an over priced, and over sized cocktail and found my seat just as the show was beginning.  If they're going to sell drinks before the show (and for the prices they do), they need a few more bartenders working the line.  It was painfully slow and a few people behind me had to abandon the idea of food or drinks before showtime.  

Show time!Nothing else to look at while we wait in line...Long lines and stupid prices.
Now the show....  Hrmmm....  I'll just say this.  I don't think you can possibly find a better Vegas show to see while you're a little bit loaded.  I mean, it has everything a stoner would want.  There's music, cartoons, lasers, flashing lights, smoke screens, crazy colors everywhere, twinkling lights, and oh yeah!  There's a Cirq show happening right in front of you for an added bonus!  A completely satisfying time.  

From this point, I sort of wanted food again, but didn't have anything particularly in mind.  I had already Uber'd it back to Bellagio, so I figured Noodles would have to suffice.  

Sake in front of meTall SapporoWonton soup and pot stickersWonton soup!Shu MaiPad Thai
I wasn't being too picky at this point in the evening, so I went with the simple option of their fixed menu.  Soup, pot stickers and pad thai.  I also added a side order of shu mai, in an attempt to try something new.  

To my disappointment, the food was about how I thought it'd be.  The pork in the shu mai and pot stickers made me think "hrmmmm, this texture is almost crunchy."  It made me wonder if their pork was ground up with bits that weren't really meant to be ground up.  The chicken in the pad thai was great, but the noodles were just a hot mess.  Do legit Asians eat at this place and think it's decent?  

The remainder of this evening consisted of me giving another session to the Excalibur poker room.  It was again the 2-6 limit game, and it was just a fun session.  Rodney, and my future ex-wife were back again.  We all ended up playing with some crazy Germans, and a pair of brothers from New Zealand.  After a few hours, I concluded my session and with only minimal winnings.  But hey, again it was a super fun laid back session.  At about 2:00 AM I take my first cab ride for the night and quickly crash at the hotel.  


Sunday May 12th, 2019


It seems I slept through my brunch reservation at Lago today...  I kinda figured that might happen due to the hour I stumbled back to my room.  Whoops.  

As a side note, if you're ever making reservations at Bellagio for a particular restaurant, they'll often ask if you're allergic to any food items.  If you tell them Kryptonite is your only allergy, they'll make sure that none is present.  They'll also ensure that your secret is safe.  Trust me.....

After a completely worth it $5 Powerade, and more gelato (cappuccino, peanut butter and Oreo!) today's first item on the agenda was to check out yet another dispensary in town.  This one is called "The Dispensary" and is about 2 miles west of Mandalay Bay along W. Hacienda Ave.  I figured, it's gotta be pretty good if it's "The Dispensary" in Las Vegas, right?  It's a smaller shop along a strip mall with a gas station on one side, and a suspiciously "Rub and Tug" looking massage parlor on the other.  In the end, they had basically what everyone else was selling in town, so I picked up another two selection of Indica based gummies, and one quick Uber ride later, I'm back at the hotel.

WORTH ITNom!Some of the wares.Damn child proof containers!Mindy's KitchenWhat does "highly edible" mean?
I snapped a few pics of some of my purchases for no reason in particular.  After organizing the room a little bit, I made my way downstairs to scan over the pai gow tables.  This time it seemed I was in luck, as I was able to get the pit boss to let me play for lower than the posted $25 minimum.  She mentioned she wasn't going to change the sign, but that I could still bet $15 a hand.  Nice.  

Tennessee highballBleh.....Noodles...
I attempted to have more than my fair share of Tennessee Highballs, but the waitress was no where to be seen for most of my session.  The second time she came around, she gave me the good ol' "Let me know how this one is, we had someone else make it."  Which usually translates to "no one working knows the recipe so we just winged it."  The second one was "meh" and I was getting raked over the coals anyway, so I cashed out what remaining chips I had left.  Now it was time to head over to Ballys for a quick annual meet with other fellow Vegas fiends.

We all met up at the main Bally's bar near the registration desk and catch up.  To Rick, Terri, Mychal, Laura, Alora, Dana and Leasa, it was awesome to see you guys for yet another year in a row.  Elaine and Tony, I hope to catch up with you guys in a not-too-far-away trip!  I'm glad there are other Vegas fanatics out there that "get it."  

As time crept away, I realized I needed to call my little humans back home, as they were probably getting ready to head to bed to welcome a new school week starting the next day.  Hugs and handshakes were exchanged, and I was soon on my way towards the Bally's monorail station while half heartedly holding a conversation with my family back home.  Just as I buy my monorail ticket and head up the stairs, my call was basically concluded.  I knew I wanted to get something to eat, and hell, why not have another session at that super serious poker game at Excalibur?  I exit the monorail at MGM and survey my dining options.

Now, I'll say this.....  When using the MGM app for reservations, don't take what it says too much to heart.  I attempted to see if I could get a seat at Morimoto via the app, and it basically told me "ha, fuck you, man!" I thought it was kinda strange, so after a short walk through MGM, I wandered up to the hostess kiosk, and got right in.  The restaurant was a little more than half full, if that.  There was plenty of seating available, and I highly doubt they were all reserved.  

Seating at the bar!Behind the sushi bar.To my left.Morimoto Soba-Ale
Sushi chef selectionRainbow rollJapanese Mule

Sushi sounded good, so I was more than happy going with the "Chef's selection."  I started with a Morimoto Soba Ale, and the waitress successfully convinced me to also order the rainbow roll, off their specialty menu.  Now, I don't know if we're just lucky in Omaha with regards to the few great sushi places in town (Sakura Bana, I'm looking at you!), but in the end, the consensus was "Yeah, I can get this exact same stuff in Omaha."  Perhaps I didn't order the right dishes, but I was sadly a little underwhelmed.  The rainbow roll "which is made up of 173 different types of fish!" (okay, it's really eleven), certainly wasn't worth $35 by itself.  The Japanese Mule  I concluded my meal with was okay.  It was definitely on the sweeter side.  You felt like you were drinking a very sugary lemonade infused with ginger.  It's not worth $17 on it's own, and whomever picked out the glassware for the mixed drinks at the restaurant is a dick (suck it, bro!).  You probably can't tell, but the glass is a little oblong shaped.  It was just enough to piss you off every time you lifted it to take a drink from it.  It's stupid I know, but it's the small things...  I paid in short order and made my way outside to head to the luxurious and prestigious Excalibur!  

Bad attmempt at a pic through clean glass.Derpiest poker game in town.
The walk took longer than it should have due to my dumbass leaving MGM through the wrong exit.  I took some poor quality pictures along the way, but in any  case, it was just a matter of minutes before I was back at that gratifying poker game.  

Starting stack...And again my new found poker friends are at the table.  

There are some familiar faces, but the one name I can call out is Rodney, the talkative Vegas local.  I also noticed a few familiar "motherly types" that I had played with before.  But don't let their appearance fool ya.  They were Mother Goose on the outside, but were certainly dragging down sizable pots, and often.  They couldn't seem to lose.  

One particular hand that stands out was between Rodney and a large fellow I had played with the day before.  The board showed something along the lines of 10-6-8-10-K with three spades out there.  When it's time, Rodney flips up one card showing it to be a ten, giving him trips.  The other player turns over the A-Q of spades, giving him the nut flush.  That's when Rodney turns over the other 10 giving him four of a kind.  It took me a second, but I blurt out "Did you just slow-roll quads!?"  The other dude grabbed his remaining chips, and simply left the poker room.  Not a single word.  He picked up his last $11, and stormed off.  Ouch....  

Rodney goes into it saying he didn't mean to slow roll him "like that."  He just wanted to give some flare to showing quads.  Still a dick move, especially when the other guy thought he had the hand when he turned over the flush.  I hate showboats that think they're cool, and like to turn one card at a time...  Don't be that guy.  

To put the cherry on top, Rodney got to spin their bonus wheel for hitting quads.  

Before too long, my future ex-wife made another appearance and after a brief wait, she was seated at our table again.  Yes....two people from Omaha again, thanks Rodney.  

I managed to get my turn to spin the bonus wheel when my pocket aces were cracked.  I spun the wheel, and ended up on the single "Triple" option present.  I guess that means I spin again, and get triple whatever I landed on.  The wheel goes around again and this time I land on the $30 bonus.  Just like that I get an extra $90 brought over to me at the table.  They ask for my signature to which I reply "Do I have to use my real name?"  Yes, yes you do.

That certainly helped nullify the sour feeling I had moments before when my pocket aces had lost.  I'll take it.  

I did manage to river the nut flush on my future ex-wife.  She contributed a good amount of her chips to that one.  Sorry honey!  

Another notable hand is when I flopped a full house with my pocket 9's, and slow played it until the river.  The guy I was up against was one of those "dude looking dudes."  You know, the guy with the suave haircut, and chiseled muscles.   He gives me the up and down bullshit look when I check raise him, and he starts to give me the stare down.  I couldn't help it, but when looking back at him, I gave him a wink.  (#NoHomo)  He let out a small laugh, and folded the hand.  In the end, he's a sweetheart after all.  

The crazy Germans showed up again and we had another killer session.   The guy on my right kept asking me what they were saying when they were talking in German when not involved in a hand.  Mein Deutsch ist nicht so gut, since you know....  I speak like 20 words of it.  At one point, one of the German kid lost a decent hand and started confiding in his counterpart in a rather agitated tone.  The dude that took the pot  asked me "what'd he just say there?'"  The best I could get was "...can you believe this bullshit?"   "So wait, he said 'shit?'"  Yes....yes he certainly did.  

Fast forward several hours, and we're breaking the table down.  It's me, the dude on my left who's flirting with my future ex-wife, and the crazy Germans.  I ended up donating all my remaining chips to "mein freund" from Europe.  I sit at the table for a minute or two, and the ex-wife and dude on my left start playing heads up.  I'm done.....   Time to head back and get some sleep.

Now.....what the hell is this?  It's 5:00 AM?  WHAT?!?!  

In any case, I was determined to not take a cab, or pay for an Uber back to the hotel.  No!  This time I was insistent on walking back.  (I don't know why)

No trafficEscalatorBarely anyone outStarting to get lighter

I used this opportunity to text my friends and family back home, all of which were getting ready to start their day in the office.  It was slightly surreal knowing it's 7:00 AM home, while I'm finally just staggering away from a card game.  

The plan was to make my way to Park MGM, use the tram, and take a break from all this stupid walking at this obnoxious hour, and just crash at the hotel.  I venture through Eataly (24 hours my ass!) and strut through  Park MGM casino with a purpose.  Now, where is that stupid tram?  ..... I ask a near by security guard if I somehow got turned around, and inquire about directions to the tram.  He radios someone, and then focuses his attention on me.  He gives me some news I hadn't even considered.  "The tram is closed for a few hours, man."  

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  

My stupid ass takes the walk of shame, and I backtrack out through Eataly again, and exit the way I came.  Yeah.....it's starting to get light outside...

AriaMOUgh"Where the fuck am I?!"
I noticed the CVS is opening, so I figure, eh, what the hell.  I figured while I'm here, I might as well pick up some souvenirs.  I had to knock that errand off the list anyway since it was my last full day in Vegas.  

In walking back to the hotel, I somehow managed to get mixed up and venturing through Aria.  After what was an adventure in and of itself, I'm finally walking through the Bellagio.  I take the opportunity to take some pictures of the empty conservatory.

Yeah yeahPretty blah blah blah"ooooh ahhhh"Not made of cakeYay, birdsUgh
Now at this point, I'm starting to feel a little bit better now that I've gotten my bearings back.  I'm half considering just staying up and seeing what the new day brings.  I see a sign at Petrossian advertising coffee, and that's just what I need to kick start my second wind.  I'm texting with friends back home asking for their recommendations, but frankly, they couldn't give a shit either way.  I was in Vegas and they weren't.  

Fuck you, birds!Tempted....Sunrise...More sunrise
I checked my phone, and seemingly have already done about 6,000 steps this morning.  I opted for the "try to get some rest" option.  I take an Indica based gummy, and crashed on the bed.  I think it was the best decision, since it took about .03 seconds until I was asleep in a near coma.  In hindsight, I'm so glad I didn't try to be all macho, and take a quick caffine hit to get me going.  Smart call.


Monday May 13th, 2019


Oh man.....  Smart call on going to sleep 5 hours ago.  Yay me!  A quick(ish) shower, and I start with some housekeeping items.  I tidy up the room a bit, halfheartedly pack a few things, assess the funds, and then head out the door.  I made a quick visit to the business center to mail out some packages for friends.  They're nice enough to charge me $7 per item, despite postage already being paid.  That's great...........  
One last timeReally?
I make one last visit to get some Gelato.  Today's selections include lemon sherbet (meh) and raspberry cheesecake.  I also opt for a desperately needed water, and I think my total came out to something ridiculous like $15.  Fucking Vegas prices......on water......

I had no plans today, and frankly, didn't want to make any.  I was still kinda feeling yesterday's (today's?) vast amounts of walking catching up to me.  I had souvenir shopping done, so I was going to take today easy.  To put it simply, I went back to Excalibur for another card session.  Exciting I know!  

I started with some screw drivers, and then switched over to some surprisingly good bloody mary's.  Rodney was back this morning, and we caught up, and re-lived his slow roll of quad tens.  (dick!)  A few hours later, the future ex-wife shows up and gets in on the session.  

Before too long, I notice the player next to me starts eating a breakfast sandwich from Starbucks.  I say to myself "Self, that doesn't sound too bad."  So I head up to the counter and ask if I have any comps on my card.  To my surprise I have $44 worth.  I get a ticket for $10 and get the same damn sandwich he was noshing on moments earlier.  

Fast forward a few uneventful poker hours later, and I was ready to call it a day.  I still needed to finish packing, and I had an early flight the next day.  I didn't want time to slip away from me like it did the previous day.  I gave Rodney a manly fist bump, and give my future ex-wife a hug before leaving the most fun limit card game in Vegas.  Before slithering out, I get another voucher, this time for $25.  Time to stock up!

I order a huge iced coffee, two breakfast sandwiches, and a chocolate chip cookie to go.  Total comes to a nice $24.90.  HA!  Did that just about right, didn't I?  
Ex-Wife on the leftAnd MikeE thinks he can get comps...HA!Tableside noshing timeWatch out for this guy!Bingo!Use it or lose it.
After settling back in the room and getting things ready for in the morning, I just snap a few more (bad) pics of the fountains.  I review my text exchanges with friends back home and have a good chuckle.  One night cap or four, and it's off to bed.  Zzzzz...
FountainOoooh, ahhh....More fountainsFinal shotNightcap


Tuesday May 14th, 2019


Another Vegas trip in the books.  I eat my remaining (now hard) Starbucks sandwich and take my bag down to the Uber pick up area.  It was a quiet morning ride to the airport with no hassle checking in.  After getting through security and settling at my gate, it seems I mistakenly left my package of hybrid gummies in my carry on.  Whoops.  I of course, wanted to drop them off in one of those anonymous kiosk things, but damn it....they were all the way on the other side of security.  Dang!  So be responsible, fellow Vegas travelers!  

Until next time, Vegas....