var quotes = new Array;

quotes.push("Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards.  I got a full house and four people died.  ~Seven Wright");

quotes.push("Just remember who busted you tonight.  - Jack");

quotes.push("The guy who invented poker was bright, but the guy who invented the chip was a genius.  ~Author Unknown");

quotes.push("If, after the first twenty minutes, you don't know who the sucker at the table is, it's you.  ~Author Unknown");

quotes.push("Is it a reasonable thing, I ask you, for a grown man to run about and hit a ball?  Poker's the only game fit for a grown man.  Then, your hand is against every man's, and every man's is against yours.  Teamwork?  Who ever made a fortune by teamwork?  There's only one way to make a fortune, and that's to down the fellow who's up against you.  ~W. Somerset Maugham");

quotes.push("Poker exemplifies the worst aspects of capitalism that have made our country so great.  ~Walter Matthau");

quotes.push("Your best chance to get a Royal Flush in a casino is in the bathroom.  ~VP Pappy");

quotes.push("There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker.  The upper class knows very little about it.  Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful.  Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a 'flush.'  It is enough to make one ashamed of the species.  ~Mark Twain");

quotes.push("The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; it happens at the poker table all the time.  ~David Shoup");

quotes.push("I must complain the cards are ill shuffled till I have a good hand.  ~Jonathan Swift");

quotes.push("Poker:  the art of civilized bushwhacking.  ~Nick Dandalos, attributed");

quotes.push("Poker is the game closest to the western conception of life, where life and thought are recognized as intimately combined, where free will prevails over philosophies of fate or of chance, where men are considered moral agents and where - at least in the short run - the important thing is not what happens but what people think happens.  ~John Luckacs");

quotes.push("Cards are war, in disguise of a sport.  ~Charles Lamb");

quotes.push("In a game of poker, I can put the players' souls in my pocket.  ~Beausourire");

quotes.push("I believe in poker the way I believe in the American Dream.  Poker is good for you.  It enriches the soul, sharpens the intellect, heals the spirit, and - when played well, nourishes the wallet.  ~Lou Krieger");

quotes.push("Poker, n.  A game said to be played with cards for some purpose to this lexicographer unknown.  ~Ambrose Bierce");

quotes.push("Rob is my bitch - Kevin");

quotes.push("Bryan bluffs a lot - Kevin");

quotes.push("Ace - Ten are the devil's cards - Kevin");

quotes.push("Whether he likes it or not, a man’s character is stripped at the poker table; if the other players read him better than he does, he has only himself to blame.  Unless he is both able and prepared to see himself as others do, flaws and all, he will be a loser in cards, as in life.  ~Anthony Holden");

quotes.push("Poker is... a fascinating, wonderful, intricate adventure on the high seas of human nature.  ~David A Daniel");

quotes.push("The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent.  ~David Mamet");

quotes.push("Poker is a microcosm of all we admire and disdain about capitalism and democracy.  It can be rough-hewn or polished, warm or cold, charitable and caring, or hard and impersonal, fickle and elusive, but ultimately it is fair, and right, and just.  ~Lou Krieger");

quotes.push("Baseball is like a poker game.  Nobody wants to quit when he's losing; nobody wants you to quit when you're ahead.  ~Jackie Robinson");

quotes.push("Hold'em - like life itself - has its defining moment.  It's the flop.  When you see the flop, you're looking at 71 percent of your hand, and the cost is only a single round of betting.  ~Lou Krieger");

quotes.push("Poker is as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you could find outside an advertising agency.  ~Raymond Chandler");

quotes.push("You have it in your power to turn a bad-beat around simply by realizing this simple truth:  The more bad beats you encounter, the luckier you are.  It's a sign that you are playing against opponents who continually take the worst of it, and if you can't beat someone who always takes the worst of it, you can't beat anyone.  ~Lou Krieger");

quotes.push("Industry executives and analysts often mistakenly talk about strategy as if it were some kind of chess match.  But in chess, you have just two opponents, each with identical resources, and with luck playing a minimal role.  The real world is much more like a poker game, with multiple players trying to make the best of whatever hand fortune has dealt them.  In our industry, Bill Gates owns the table until someone proves otherwise.  ~David Moschella");

quotes.push("Most of the money you'll win at poker comes not from the brilliance of your own play, but from the ineptitude of your opponents.  ~Lou Krieger");

quotes.push("I've often thought, if I got really hungry for a good milk shake, how much would I pay for one?  People will pay a hundred dollars for a bottle of wine; to me that's not worth it.  But I'm not going to say it is foolish or wrong to spend that kind of money, if that's what you want.  So if a guy wants to bet twenty or thirty thousand dollars in a poker game, that is his privilege.  ~Jack Binion");

quotes.push("There's opportunity in poker.... If Horace Greeley were alive today, his advice wouldn't be 'Go West, young man, and grow up with the country.'  Instead, he'd point to that deck of cards on table and say, 'Shuffle up and deal.'  ~Lou Krieger ");

quotes.push("If you ain't just a little scared when you sit down at a poker table, you are either very rich or you haven't studied the game enough.  ~VP Pappy");

quotes.push("In a bet there is a fool and a thief.  ~Proverb");

quotes.push("I don't give a shit! - Jacob");

quotes.push("How much can I bet?  - Jacob");

quotes.push("I'll limp in...to show weakness. - Bryan");

quotes.push("Luck never gives; it only lends.  ~Swedish Proverb");

quotes.push("Mr. Moss, I have to let you go. - Nick 'The Greek' Dandalos after playing heads-up No Limit poker for 5 months at Binion's Horshshoe with the famous Johnny Moss.  ");

quotes.push("Your first duty is to the Game; then come Mother, God, and Country - Motto at the Natioanl Press Club, Washington D.C.");

quotes.push("Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money. - Unknown Loser's Prayer (Rob?)");

quotes.push("Aces are larger than life and greater than mountains. - Mike Caro");

quotes.push("Well, tomorrow's another day. - John Hennigan, high-stakes ring game player after reportedly losing more than $1 Million on a Saturday in side action at the Bellagio.");

quotes.push("It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter - Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion");

quotes.push("I've always had confidence, but I never let my ego get to the point that I think I'm the superstar, because I know that ego has destroyed many a poker career - Jim Boyd, modern-day road gambler");

quotes.push("It's not enough to succeed. Others must fail. - Gore Vidal");

quotes.push("Perception is reality. - Immanuel Kant");

document.write(quotes[(Math.floor(Math.random() * quotes.length))]);