Sunday June 8th, 2008

The day started off like many others.  The unpleasant alarm clock sounding off, followed by the "hey, today's the day I land in Vegas" banter running through your mind.  That's shortly followed up with "ah crap, I have to go to the airport, get through security, and wait forever before my flight even takes off."  But, that's the price we all pay for a vacation.

This time the trip was going to be a solo one for me.  The trip came up unexpectedly, but I did have a lose itinerary.

My first item to take care of was to get my ass to the airport.  The family dropped me off at the Southwest terminal, and I promptly said my good byes before walking inside.

Of course this time there's NO ONE to be seen.  I already had my A boarding pass, and I wasted no time in checking my one bag.  The security line on the 2nd level was all but non-existent.  My best guess would say that I had to wait in line maybe 15 minutes before I was by my gate. 

I now had two hours to myself to wait for my plane.  The bar wasn't open, so an early morning cocktail was out of the question.  To keep myself entertained I began texting a few people in my contact list, and soon was on the phone with one of the individual's I was to meet up with in Vegas.  To protect the identity of the mostly innocent, I shall refer to him as "Mr. Scotch."   We talked for approximately 15 minutes which helped me pass the time. 

I had to cave and bought an overpriced Maxim magazine, in addition to a hot chai to keep the caffeine flowing. 

It does a body good.	Um....bartender?	At least it's an "A"	Why hello...	Hey, WTF?!

The plane was about 20 minutes late, but we were boarding soon enough.  I took the first window seat I could find near the front of the plane, since I hate standing around for 30 minutes while people try to get to their bags from the overhead compartments.  I of course had to get the row that doesn't recline.  Wonderful.

It was a full flight, I had the window seat and noticed the lady on my right  was dressed in a flight attendant outfit.  After she was seated, one attendant came over and said directly to her "if you need anything, you let me know."  I thought to myself "um, I could use a sprite?"  Mid flight she was working on a sudoku puzzle and it was giving her some trouble.  She noticed me watching and I kindly told her "that one there is a 7, and that one is a 9."  She grinned, and filled in the answers and we each continued to entertain ourselves on the 3 hour flight.  Between the ipod, reading material, and view I was doing okay.  I ordered a bloody mary which was free due to some nice drink coupons obtained from Ebay. 

What a lovely view.	771 pages down, 1326 to go	Cliff's notes version, anyone?	Again, no UFO. Damn it!	Weeeee!	Yummy breakfast	No pepper or lime? Ghetto.

I soon noticed the lady next to me was getting out the barf bag in front of her.  Wonderful.  She's going to blow chunks right next to me.  No, not so much.  Instead she would use it as a trash receptacle as she was constantly wiping her eyes with kleen-ex.  Hrmmm.

She turns to me and says "My 16 year old daughter died last night."  Errrr....umm.....ah....come again?  I guess she was working when she got the call and of course was across the country.  Her daughter was coming home from prom when a truck plowed into the limo she was riding in.  Now isn't that a heart warming story to prep a Vegas trip with?  I certainly thought so.  How do you comfort someone in that position?  I offered my sympathies the best I could, but mainly tried to let her talk if she wanted to.  If she wanted her space, I'd give her that too.  I told her she'd be in my thoughts.  So if Maria is reading this out of Ottawa California, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your daughter, Leighla. 

After landing, she stood up and mouthed the words "thanks for listening" to me.  I could only nod my head while nonverbally saying "you're welcome."  After de-boarding, I saw her rush to another gate to grab her last flight before being home. 

Okay, now onto luggage!  It came up fast enough - wasn't that exciting? 

I was looking for a limo driver with my name on a sign, but of course no such luck.  Sweet Tyrone wasn't to be found.  I went outside and surveyed my options.

Since this trip was going to be on more of a budget I had to limit my options.  You know those kinds of trips.  You have to shave yourself....take the shuttle....  ugh.  Yes, I said it, the shuttle.

Memories...at the corner of my mind...	That's where I'd like to be....	But, this is what I get...	Screw you, Rules!

I want to say the one way shuttle ticket was only $6 so I went with that.  I figured since I was staying at MGM, I'd likely be the first stop.  The barf smelling bus filled up quickly enough, and I was correct in my assumption.  First one off, ba-by!

Check in was as expected.  I was only behind three other people but of course each had to take what seemed like 10 minutes before they got out of my way.  It's my world, damn it, they're just living in it.  Anyway I was going to try for the $20 upgrade, but chickened out at the last minute.  I asked for a high room with a view and my booking came with a $35 activity credit.  I'll take it.

Fast forward one elevator ride, and I pop into my room on the 19th floor.  Below are some pics of the room lay out.

In case of fire....you're fucked.	Shower with un godly force.	No bidet. What a dump. AH!	Sink obviously.	From the door into the room.	Bed	Tons of crap for you to sift through when you're broke.	Name the celebs. Anyone?
I think I broke that couch.	View straight ahead.	View to the right.	View to the left.	A safe!	Iron included! Eat that, Binions!	How the HELL am I supposed to work the safe?! I don't read that!	Oh...duh.

After dropping off the bag and checking out the room, my first order of business was to get some grub.  I figured I'd try out Emeril's.  I wanted to try a few different things, so I decided to order two different appetizers.  I settled on the BBQ shrimp, and the crab cakes.  I of course also had to try out a few of their offered libations.

Lunch time.	View from my seat.	Mojito	Bread samples?	BBQ shrimp	Cadillac Margarita
Is that the wall by Craftsteak?	Ooooh....ahh.....	Crabcake presentation.	I finished that bite too.	BAM!

At first the service was spotty.  No waiter or bartender acknowledged my existence.  Pretty soon I had a menu before my and they were calling my "sir" and kissing my ass.  That's right, bow down! 

I started with a  mojito which was a decent selection.  Not mind blowing, but not bad.  I soon ordered the BBQ shrimp that I've heard good things about.  Before too long I had two bread samplings in front of me.  One was a corn bread, the other was some sort of sweet muffin type thing.  The BBQ shrimp weren't that impressive.  The presentation alone looked like a baby soiled all over my plate.  And you know what?  They tasted just like shrimp with BBQ sauce poured all over it.  I doubt there's much culinary ingenuity going on with that particular selection.

After the shrimp fiasco, I ordered a Cadillac Margarita.  You know what?  It tastes just like every other margarita you've ever had in your life, except for triple the price.  Blah. 

I was expecting more with the crab cakes.  They just didn't do it for me either.  Total bill before tip was $55.   I don't see myself going back.

One room charge later I was walking through the casino.  I noted where Joel Robuchon's restaurant is, and quickly found a blackjack game I liked.  It was a $10 minimum, 3:2 for blackjack, and offered surrender.  I can't recall the last blackjack game I saw that offered surrender for the player.  Perhaps I've been missing those tables.  I asked one girl at first base how the shoe was going.  Her response spelled it out "not so good."  A few hands later I was down to the felt too.  They kicked me in the balls with a mediocre over priced meal, and then spit on me while taking my money at an actually decent blackjack game.

I decided to wander across the street to Pour 24 at New York New York.  I was in the mood to try some different types of beers.

I'll see you next month...and I hope you're better than Emerils!	I bet he knows how to make the salami disappear. Ass!	View up MGM.	Pour 24 (like the pic says)

  I opted for what they called a "4 Course Dinner."  For $14 you get to try a six ounce sample of four different beers.  I didn't think it was a horrible deal considering they were selling people half a coke for $3.50 (the other half was ice).   You can't really read the menu since my camera wouldn't focus as much as I would have liked.

A couple sat beside me and started asking the bartender if going to a timeshare for free Mystere tickets was worth it.  He mainly shrugged them off, so I offered my opinion.  It sounded like it was their first visit in a long time, so I tried to steer them away from the time vultures. 

A menu that you won't be able to read.	A "Four Course Dinner"	Another room charge to MGM before tip.	I started with the right....	Why would you order a bud light at a place that sells this many "not so common" beers?	Half of their tap selection. (didn't get a pic of the other half)	I'm not a quitter!

The beers were decent enough.  I wasn't floored by any of them, but glad I tried the sampler.  I'd likely try another beer "flight" the next time I'm in town. 

I ventured down the escalator so I could try my luck at a few spins of Chuck-a-Luck, but to my amazement the table was gone.  I guess it really wasn't a money maker, or didn't have a high enough house advantage for NY NY.  Their casino rules do suck. 

One thing they didn't do away with is the 9 Fine Irish Men bar.  I didn't have to try too long to convince myself, and walked in.  I strolled right to the bar next to a couple enjoying lunch and ordered an Irish Car Bomb.  I want to say the price was $12 which is cheaper than what I remember.  The bartender right away offered to snap a few pictures of me in action.  I think they're programmed to ask.  And despite similar appearances, that is indeed a different shirt from what I wore during my last visit.

I'll let you read it.	In case you didn't read the first picture.	Not a calorie in that....	Cheers.	I look so attractive with my mouth open.	Done!	Where are the other 3 Fine Irish Men?

 

The couple on my right were inquisitive so I had to explain the contents of the lovely dark nectar.  Half a glass of Guiness, with a shot of half Irish whiskey, and half Baileys.  Drop one into the other (you figure out which one you drop in) and then consume.  There's dinner!

On the way back to MGM I walked past 4 dudes who's main job function is to walk around wearing a sign for Hooters advertising for the run down property.  How lame is that?  When I see the word "Hooters" I don't immediately think of lame ass dude's in khaki shorts.  Now if the waitresses in the short orange shorts were walking around, I think that'd get more traffic going through there.  Damn I'm a marketing genius!

The poker list had too long of a wait, so I decided to try my luck at a $10 pai gow table.  I was actually there for a few hours, and only ended up down $25.  Not bad, but the cocktail service was mediocre.  All's well, I was ordering water to pace myself anyway.

Lame asses...	Been there....been thrown out of that....	No one likes your shitty sports book anyway.	I managed to save three....	Outside the men's restroom. No idea why I took that pic.

 

I made a $5 wager on the stupid wheel outside of Zuri bar just to say I did.  Of course I didn't win since the house has something like a 52,201% advantage in that "game."

I wandered into Zuri to kill some time and check out the vibe.  The place wasn't very busy at the moment, so I ordered myself a sapphire martini and slowly nursed it for the next hour or so.   I saw a middle aged guy come in, stroll right up to the bartender and say "give me your best martini!" and threw down a $20.  I knew when I saw whip cream going into the shaker it was some sort of girley fru-fru drink.  Turned out to be a key lime martini.  I'm sure it tasted well, but I'd call that dessert.  Not a martini.

Zuri bar.	Sapphire martini.	Ooooh, ahhhh....	Random bar shot.

A few minutes later I walked past an empty craps table.  I was the first and only person to buy in immediately and I just wanted to toss the dice for a few minutes before meeting up with Mr. Scotch.  I lost my first bet just as a group of guys were walking by.  "How's the action at this table?" one asked.  I told him not so hot, but would appreciate any company they could offer.  Four of them bought in, and we all experienced the same downward spiral.  There was a measly one high five exchanged in that interchange, and that was it.  Bummer.

Soon my phone had a new text asking me to meet Mr. Scotch in a near by lounge.  I had met him last year at MikeE's sky loft party, and we were going to take the opportunity to catch up again.  He actually brought along a nice cigar which I gladly accepted.  Before I knew what was happening I had a nice glass of scotch in my hand.  Ahhh, life is good.  

The conversation came to a close and the next step was to drop off Mrs. Scotch at their hotel room.  Afterwards we met up with MikeE at Treasure Island.  We spent a short time in the high limit lounge, but didn't want to over stay our (non-gambling) welcome. 

MikeE and I decided to show Mr. Scotch the ropes to Pai Gow poker.  I'm not sure if we taught him anything other than how to lose at that game.  The hands weren't coming, and the losses mounted.  Time for a scenery change.  We decided that Mandalay Bay must be beckoning us. 

Think they'd have nicer napkins. Sheesh.	Water in a pretty tube.

Once at Mandalay Bay we again found ourselves in the high limit area.  MikeE strolled up to the baccarat table, and I was glued by his side.  I've never actually seen the game up close before at the "big" table, so I wanted in on the action in a vicarious fashion.  MikeE played two hands, winning one and losing the other.  Rumor has it, he was mocked by two Asian players at the other end of the table betting around $500+ a hand.  Ah, yes...making friends.

We made our way to the bar area and picked up a few drinks.  I ended up with what we recall as a "Washington Apple" in my grasp.  It was some fruity drink with lots of cherries in it.  I didn't make the recipe, but of course Mr. Scotch had to give me all sorts of hell for drinking it.  There was no umbrella in it, so I figured it must be okay.  Mr. Scotch talked up the bartender about the coveted Macallan 50 scotch on the top shelf.  After hearing the price for a shot, I swear I saw a glimpse of consideration twinkle in his eye.  But, the Macallan 50 will have to be saved for a different time. 

Real flowers in the high limit room.	Mac 50 on the top shelf.	Other hooch.	Yet another napkin.	Washington Apple.	Yeah, I know...it's got fruit in it....
I look so masculine drinking out of a straw...	"You make another gay joke and so help me...."	Buy the last shot, keep the bottle.	Don't know what those are, but they looked cool.	Yet, more booze.	Mr. Scotch shoots lasers out of his eyes when someone orders a drink other than scotch. (that's a little known fact)

MikeE was cool enough to attempt to get us into Foundation Room and Mix but both clubs were closing for the night.  Guess we'll just have to plan better next time. 

By this point I was dying and gladly accepted a ride back to MGM.  Despite my offers to help offset the costs of driving me around town, Mr. Scotch rebuffed my efforts nicely with a "get the hell out of my car."  At least he came to a complete stop in the parking lot. 

Once back in my room, I cranked the AC to high and let the night's booze work it's infamous drunken sleepy magic.  Zzzzzzzzzzzz.............

Back to Main Page     |     To Day Two