Treasure Island Guys' trip, January 2009

I found myself stirring in bed, restless. I didn't sleep very well, and was moving before my alarm woke up my bride sleeping on my right. It was now 5:45, and I had more time to get ready for our 9:00 am flight.

After a quick shower I scurry out to the car with my luggage in tow. A few moments later, I find Cory standing outside in the cold and dark Nebraska weather waiting for me on his porch. Off to the airport. One quiet and cold drive later, we're in the North term parking lot at Epply airfield. We're the only passengers on the shuttle, and make it to the check in desk with nothing memorable happening aside from the clerk laughing at my license picture.

Check the bags and we're upstairs to the gate. Cory was lucky enough to be pulled aside for a quick "random" screening (I think they just "randomly" pull the ugliest people aside). The attendant asked him if he was comfortable taking off his hat in public. Nice of him to inquire first, I suppose. A few moments later I have my coffee and breakfast of champions (one glazed doughnut) and we settle in towards the gate.

We board in short order, and we were happy to hear the flight wasn't a full one. Cory and I manage to snag a row and the seat between us remains empty. Score one for us.

Just as we begin to back up, we all hear a phone ringing. Since phones are supposed to be turned off, we all start looking around to see who the ass hat is that forgot to comply. The guy in the row on my left says "That's a blackberry alarm. Someone needs to turn off their blackberry." It would turn out to be his blackberry going off. Dumbass.

I'm quickly bored on the flight while Cory puts on the Hulk movie on his portable DVD player. We order some complimentary drinks on the plane. I land on a bloody mary, while Cory opts for the rum and coke. About an hour into the flight we see another plane out our window. That rarely happens, so I snapped a few pics in addition to the random pictures I already had. I did get some enjoyment watching a woman play her Nintendo DS. Yawn....

I found myself being more impatient on the flight than normal. The last hour of the three hour journey seemed to take forever. I was itching to get off and get things started.

We eventually do land, and are about 10 minutes late. The pilot seemed to want to take a scenic route and fly around the mountains before coming in for a landing. I don't know if we were queued up for a landing or what. In any case, we bolt off the plane as fast as we can, in order to get to our limo driver.

We find her without too much searching and she had the sign I requested. I asked for the sign to read "Mr. Schwarzenegger." Why you ask? Well, it's a name that you can't really mix up with anyone else (even if it was misspelled). I was hoping to find some people waiting around to see if they could see the Governator, but it didn't happen. The airport was quiet. On the way down to baggage, we were both talking in our best worst Austrian accents, trying to sound like Arnold from the Predator. "Get to the limo! Go now! Do it! What are you waiting for? Ah-aha-aha-ha-haha-aha-ha!"

The driver's willingness to assist was non-existent. She was nice and personable, but she didn't help with any luggage (or even ask), didn't open our limo door for us, and certainly didn't open our champagne. And let's talk about the champagne..... It's gone from "cheap" to "downright nasty." I knew I was in for a special treat when the cap was a twist off. They're not even buying the stuff that has a fake plastic cork in it these days. Cory and I were seriously trying to get the other to finish the bottle. We both were reluctant, but each took their equal share. It felt like a punishment.

The plan was to take the limo, drop off our bags at Treasure Island, and then get back into the limo and scurry off to Mandalay Bay for our 12:00 Royal Shaves at the Art of Shaving.

At first we were wondering if she'd give us any trouble about it, but it went off without a hitch. As we pull into the parking lot at TI, I pop out, hobble over to the bell desk with 4 pieces of luggage, grab the ticket and fly back into the limo. At this point we have about 15 minutes left of our hour. But we make it to Mandalay Bay with 2 minutes to spare.

Cory got another copy of his players card made while we conversed with a Jersey fellow wearing a Criss Angel "Believe" shirt. He said the show was "eh" but LOVE at Mirage was better by far. He said on a scale of one to five, he'd give Believe a three. That was higher than I thought it would have gotten.

While in line with Cory, I took a few pictures of the casino to show how empty it was. At least I thought the traffic was light. By now it's about 11:30 and we kill some time at a slot machine and people watching. I managed to see some hottie lipstick lesbians, but of course my picture came out blurry (damn it!). I didn't want to try to push my luck and take another one, and instead settled on watching them kiss, and walk off holding hands. I love this town.

We make our way upstairs and check in for our shaving appointments. The Art of Shaving was pretty busy this time around as they had at least 3 barber's chairs full at any one time. I managed to get in a few minutes ahead of Cory. My barber was a woman (can't remember her name). The shave was awesome. Plenty of hot scorching towels, warm shaving foam, facial oil, a girly mint facial mask, and a little bit of a massage on the face, and back of the neck. Good stuff. $55 for the shave, and a $10 tip and I'm done. I guess after I left, Cory's barber starting chattering like a school girl to my barber. Just talking away and not really focusing on the task at hand. Cory couldn't even listen to the jazz playing in the background.

In Cory's eyes the shave wasn't as great as the first time around, but still decent. Being the big roller that he is, he tipped a $20 spot for his shave.

From here our next item on our to do list was to check out the Minus 5 bar. It was just around the corner from the Art of Shaving. The girl (a cutie at that) gave us a few of options they offered. For $30 you get into the bar, have a rental of the coat and gloves, and one drink is included. For $40 a person, you get all of the above with two drinks. You can buy a drink once inside the bar, but they cost $15 each, so if you buy it up front, you save yourself five dollars. We went with that option. I think there were more, but I wasn't interested in hearing about them.

We get inside and find there are about 4 other people currently in there. We each get our drink, and opt for one of their specialty cocktails. I don't recall what we each got. Once we fully scan over the place, we start talking to the couples that are already there. They were really cool and fun to talk to. We were all comparing notes and found that they're staying at Mirage. It was cool that they were easy to talk with, and I think the experience would have been less fulfilling if we didn't have someone other than ourselves to converse with.

The website is rather inaccurate (at least for Vegas). I read that there are no pictures allowed, you can have a maximum of 3 drinks per person, you're only allowed to stay in for 30 minutes or less, you have to keep your drinks on a coaster at all times, and they don't serve beer (since it would freeze).

I was hesitant to take pictures at first, but when the bartender didn't say anything I loosened up and started snapping pics left and right. The whole room itself is rather small. There's once ice table near the bar area and chairs lining the walls. When I walked in, I first thought "wow, this is basically a glorified meat locker."

A short time later, the photographer comes in with two girls. We comply, and without too much thought, one of them jumps onto my lap for the pose. "Why hello there...."

I'm not even in town for three hours yet, and I already have a drink in my hand, and a pretty girl in my lap. God, I love Vegas.....

For my second drink I elect to keep it simple and go for the dirty martini. There was one coaster in the entire place, but none of the ice glasses froze to the table like the website says would happen. There was no time limit for us, and we were encouraged to buy as many drinks as we would have liked. Obviously the "no pictures allowed" policy is total bull. At least for this location.

One of the ladies we were talking with offered to take our picture all over the bar, so we complied. I managed to take a few more pics before Cory decided to give an ice statue a little humping. Since each glass is only used once, Cory opted to crush his into a dozen pieces by ramming it into the table. We played dumb with an "oooops!" and had a good laugh.

The jackets and gloves are returned, and we walk past the desk where they let you see the picture the photographer took if you wanted to buy it. While she was busy, our picture was displayed on the TV screen, so I snapped a pic with my camera. I just saved myself $25 ba-by! Cory warmed his hands near the fake fire, and we left.

In short order we leave Mandalay Bay and begin the long walking journey towards Treasure Island so we can check in. We stop by MGM to look at the Derby game, but quickly lost interest. I snap a few random pictures along the way.

We were both accepting any and all "Mexican porn slapper" cards that came within an arms reach. I would stuff them all into my back pocket and before too long, it was damn full. The walk seemed to be more challenging than our lazy asses were up for, so we opted to take a cab from Paris to Treasure Island. Time to check in.

The first thing I see is the damn line of people waiting to check in. Awesome..... Around this time Cory is starving and threatening me with bodily harm if we don't find some food quickly. In my estimates we were waiting at least half an hour before a clerk beckoned us her way. The check in process begins.

Once she notes we're here on the "Chill" offer, she tells me we could have readily used the invited guest check-in desk. Son-of-a-bitch!

But I had to make this process longer than usual. I asked if they have any Luxury Suites available, and ask if they'd take $70 a night for it. After about a 10 minute phone call, my offer is declined an I'm quoted $250 a night. Um, no..... A few days prior they had the suite for $169 a night. In any case I ask the same thing for an Executive suite, and again get shot down. Okay, we'll take the comped room we have. We're assigned to the 28th floor, and I tip the clerk a few bucks for trying to help us out.

I tell Cory I'll treat him to lunch at Isla. He's not really in the mood to argue since he's running on empty from this morning. Turns out the restaurant is closed, and we settle on the buffet. My offer came with two complimentary buffets anyway, so we go in, and start loading the plates.

I land on some ribs, chicken, beans and a glob of pizza. Cory opted for as much protein as he could fit on the plate. Everything was luke warm. Nothing stood out in my mind. We went for seconds and finally dessert. Nothing was good or memorable. If I would have had to pay $49 for two buffets there, I would have been upset.

At this point we're finally ready to walk into the room. I call down to see if our bags can be brought up. I had Cory's name added to the room, and when the bell desk said "Certainly Kevin, can I confirm, is your last name <insert Cory's last name here> ?" I said "No, that's my lover's last name." She didn't bat an eye, and Cory just called me a dick. I was hoping to get a rise out of the bell desk more than anything.

From here, we decide to check out the casino at Treasure Island. I played a few hands of blackjack while Cory opted to find a three card poker table. In short order I moved to a Pai Gow poker table, and was mainly running in place. No extreme excitement here. We're both down a few dollars and what better way to make up that loss than taking the casino's money at War! It was a ten dollar table, and I won three hands in short order. Cory also won, and we were both now back to par for our gambling sessions.

Encore was on our list of items to check out this time around, so we make our way outside. It was funny to us to see people wearing winter coats, scarfs, and gloves in the 55 degree weather. Omaha was blasted by an ice storm a few hours after we left and thought Vegas' weather was a slight upgrade.

We sign up for the players card and start using the free play that comes with it. I promptly forgot the pin number I had randomly made up about 60 seconds before hand, and was too embarrassed to go back to the players desk and ask for it to be reset. Cory quickly made 25 points playing a dollar video poker machine and got to spin the promotional wheel. I won an additional $25 in free play. While he was using that I opted for some $10 blackjack. My session wasn't profitable and I lost slightly more than half my buy in before cashing out. We walked around the rest of Encore for approximately an hour before returning to our hotel room at TI.

The plan was to meet Mr. Scotch (and now 21 year old son) in the Mirage high limit lounge for some scotch after the Colts and Chargers game. When the Chargers ran in for a touch down in over time, we packed our things and wandered towards the tram. Mystere had just finished, and the swarm of people was impeding my progress.

Eventually we make our way into the high limit area and find Mr. Scotch with a nice setup ready to go for us. Twelve glasses of scotch sat before us on a serving tray with four waters at our various stations.

Today's tasting included a sampling of the Pappy Van Winkle line. We were diving into the 12, 15 and 20 year old selections. The 20 was my favorite out of the three and in my estimation was the smoothest with the least amount of burn. I even took it upon myself to help Cory finish his glass as well. A few drunken texts and phone calls later, we were all on our way. Cory and I were going to head back to Treasure Island, and would wait to run into Mr. Scotch again.

The Pai Gow Poker tables were beckoning me again so I bought in and played a few hands. Mr. Scotch elected to try and find some trouble elsewhere so we bid them good night. I again wasn't hitting anything, and made a whopping dollar and a half profit before cashing out. Exciting, I know! Cory managed to hit on a slot machine while I watched my credit balance dwindle down to zero.

About this time we were both exhausted, and Cory called it a night. I managed to find my way into a 1-3 no limit poker game and started off with a bang. I bought in for $200 and before too long I was already sitting at $450. There was a gentleman in a cheap vest and dinner jacket who was a maniac. He had about a grand in front of him when I sat down and would call and raise blindly. Then whatever the flop would be, he'd bet it heavy and typically win the hand.

I soon found myself in a hand with him and my K 5 of spades neglected to see a spade on the turn or river which would have given me the nut flush. I was betting the entire way hoping he'd either fold, or I'd hit my hand. When it didn't happen at the river, I bet a barrel of reds, making it a $100 bet to him. Since it was the only way I could win the hand, I had to try. He thought long and hard about the decision. At one point, he flashed me one of his cards....the ace of diamonds. It went rather well with the ace of spades on the flop. I was praying it'd automatically kill his hand, and the pot would be mine. He eventually did call reluctantly. Damn.....

Soon after I decided it's better to cash out and get some sleep. I managed to walk away with $212. Any profit is a good profit I suppose.