June 9th, 2008

I vaguely remember the clock reading in the area of 3:25 when my head hit the pillow. For some reason my body decided to wake up in the 7:00 am neighborhood. Why you ask? I have no good god damn idea. In any case, I thought a shower would be my best bet to help alleviate some of the loud gong noises reverberating in my head. Let me just say.... That shower head sucks! The water was nice and hot, and everything was great, but the only setting that appeared to be working was the "blast the skin from my body" setting. Any attempt to adjust the faucet resulted in minimal results.

In any case, I managed to go back to bed for another few hours, waking up shortly after 11:00. I didn't have enough sand blasting in the shower before, so I took another hot one before getting dressed for the day.

I had emailed the MGM concierge asking for non-buffet breakfast suggestions. They came back with Verandah at the Four Seasons at Mandalay Bay. I figured I'd give it a try.

The sun was out and well on its way to toasting what remained of my flesh. I walked to the Excalibur tram station and rode it to Mandalay Bay.

I find my way to the registration desk easily enough only to find out there is a mass exodus of people checking in. Guess Oracle is in town, and it's looking to be a doozie of a convention. I grab a water near the registration desk and make my way around the well dressed mob of corporate stiffs and IT grunts.

A short walk down a hallway and I easily see signs to enter the Four Seasons. I didn't think of this before, but it's well past breakfast time, and that's really what I had my heart set on. I find a staircase leading to Verandah, and review their menu. While their lunch selections did look impressive, it only made my stomach churn as if to say "if you make us eat there I'll show you who's boss, prick!" Since I didn't want my stomach to take the issue "outside" I thought I'd leave well enough alone.

I figured a few hands at a poker table at Mandalay Bay would help kill some time, and more importantly let my stomach settle.

A quick walk to the sports book and I find a nearly empty poker room. There are about 3 tables going, and I ask the manager if he had a seat open for $1/$2 no limit. "Sure do Boss, how many chips would you like?" I buy in for $200.

There's no real threat at this point, and as I scan over the stack sizes from my 9 seat I see the "big stack" is sitting at around $400. I assume the table started up a short while ago.

The cocktail waitress comes around, and she had the biggest set of fake boobs I've ever seen. It was almost horrifying. I order an orange juice.

For the first 45 minutes I'd say I honestly folded every hand. I never saw a flop and just wanted to watch the other players and get a feel of the table. Everyone seemed to be mostly tight aggressive, with one maniac Asian lady in the 4 seat next to her husband in the 5. The blinds are $1 and $2 and she's making it $40 to go during a few hands. Okay, mental note.

The very first hand I limp in with a dismal J♣ 5♣. The flop brings out a little bit of promise showing K-J-3. I figure I'd test the waters and bet out $25. "Crazy Asian Lady" raises $25 after some consideration, which I immediately call. Now it's just she and I in the hand. The turn makes me cringe slightly revealing a 9. At this point the board is a rainbow, but if this wack-job was going for a straight she may have hit it. To put some pressure on her, I bet $50. She takes her sweet ass time to think. She literally thought for at least 3 minutes. The whole time I'm worried she's going to raise me all in. She asks to see my stack and I lift my arms to reveal I'm fairly committed to the hand. I was thiiiiiiiiis close to asking for a clock on her. I've never called a clock on another player in a cash game, and thought this time it might be appropriate. She calls the $50. Damn it. The river is a lovely 2 which certainly didn't help her. This time I immediately bet another $50. She thinks for a split second and mucks her cards. The players at my end of the table asked if I was going to call a clock, and said they'd readily have backed me up if I would have. Whew, that one got my pulse going.

A few hands later I'm in the big blind with a 9♥ 8♥ and every single player at the table calls the $2. "Are you kidding me?" I think. I'm not going to let that happen, so I pop it up to $25. Everyone drops out except for two players. Now there's about $89 in the pot. The flop brings out a K-Q-9. "Hey, at least I hit bottom pair?" I think to myself, trying to find a positive in that flop. I decide to take the lead and put out a $40 bet. Everyone gives it up. I was amazed. Another sigh of relief.

The next hand I got into it was with Crazy Asian Lady's husband. I had a K♠ J♦ and he was the only player in the pot with me. I actually nailed top pair when the board showed two baby cards and a lovely jack. He bet about $15 and I thought about what to do. I asked "is that all he's got left?" looking at about $60 in his hand. I wanted to make sure he didn't have two more barrels behind that. Sure enough it was, and I pushed him all in. He gave it up.

Crazy Asian lady got a little bit of her money back from me. Pre-flop I had an A♥ J♠ which I raised to $15. She came over the top of me for a total of $100. I folded without much thinking. If she's got aces or kings, great. If not, I'm not going to bet that much on a gamble. I'll get her soon enough.

Now at this point the dealer starts telling everyone about the high hand jackpots they have and how to qualify for them. Four of a kind or higher, gotta use both cards, and there has to be at least $20 in the pot. Wonderful. I get into a cheap flop with 4♠ 5♠ as I like playing those types of hands, especially when I'm up. The flop comes out 6♠ 7♠ Q♥. Once the initial "holy shit, I flopped an open ended straight flush draw!" gets out of my head, the big stack bets about $25. I call as does the 10 seat. I hate calling on a draw, but this time I decide I'm readily going for it. The turn is what I think was the action card. The lovely K♠. This time it's checked to me, and I contemplate how much to bet. I really don't want another spade to come out (unless it makes my straight flush) so I lead out with a nicely stacked $75 bet. The 10 seat says she likes calling with a made hand, but doesn't have it this time, and lets go. My big stack friend calls. The river is a blank. He checks again, and I do the same fearing a higher flush. Nope....he had a pair of kings with an ace kicker. Wa-wa-wa..... He didn't even see the flush possibility out there, and my bet scared off the 10 seat holding the ace of spades. I rule!

Around this time I'm stacking my chips in even piles so I can easily gage how much I have. It turns out I have $485. A nice little profit thus far, and it's not even been two hours. I tell myself "If I get to $500, I'm cashing out." Famous last words right? It's been the downfall of me before.

The 8 seat leaves, and is readily filled in with a young brash "20 something" guy who knows everything about poker. You know the type. The ones who talk to themselves about every hand, and sometimes include you in on the conversation even though you show no interest in the crap they're spewing. Well this dude had diharia of the mouth, and a severe case.

I mainly kept quiet and to myself since I was trying to out live my hangover. I wasn't my usual self of interacting and striking up pleasant conversations with the other patrons around me. It's all good since the chips were flowing my way.

My last hand of action came when I had a K♥ 8♥ and saw a cheap raise from the wizard of poker on my right. The flop showed promise for me bringing out a 7-8-7. Initially I thought I'd outdrawn him, and let him bet. It was $15, and I called. The turn was another 7, improving me to a full house. The young Doyle Brunson bet $25 this time, and I almost raised right away. Something told me....na, just call. The dude's probably sitting on pocket jacks. So I did call. The river was a lovely King giving me 7's over kings. He checked, and I bet $25 this time. He almost called, and sure enough flipped up a wired pair of jacks. Eat that, fella! He went into a mini rant about how he couldn't believe it, yada yada yada. Next time raise more than $10 pre-flop with that hand, okay champ?

I stacked my new found red chips, and from a quick count I was now sitting at the $557 mark. Good enough for me. I cash out and get up. I wanted to take a picture of my completely full rack, but thought that might be insensitive to the other players at the table and in bad etiquette.

In total it was a $357 profit after tips, and all under two hours. I could have probably started running over the table, but with my luck I would have lost it all. I didn't lose any hand I saw a flop with, which will be my bragging rights claim. Booo-ya!

The stomach was feeling better at this point, but wasn't 100%. Once I was done wandering through Mandalay Bay and Luxor, I lazily took a cab back to MGM. I wanted a quick bite to eat, and something that wouldn't require much effort. Inside MGM I opted for a sandwich from 'wichcraft. I landed on the meatloaf with cheddar and bacon sandwich. Yes it sounds disgusting, but really wasn't bad. Nothing to write home about, but at this point, it was my only "meal" of the day. I slowly trotted back to my room and wolfed it down.

From here my body let me take a little nappie poo. Yes, I'm old, but damn. I was still hurting and a little rest goes a long way. I figured the maid service would have been by already, but noooooo. She banged on my door, and I politely said no thanks. "Are you sure?" Yes, I am thank you, please go away. "Are you completely sure?" GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

After awakening from my post hangover slumber, I opt for yet another power washing in the shower. I get dressed and make my way downstairs to kill some time before meeting up with Mr. Scotch and MikeE again.

I drop a few bucks at slots and video poker, not coming close to any sort of real win.

I trek out to the cab stand and with no line, hop in and venture to the Mirage for our little gathering. Mr. Scotch comes out of the elevators right on time by the Revolution Lounge, and takes our party up to the 30th floor where the Penthouse Suite is located.

Mr. Scotch was cool enough to invite me for a little scotch tasting party. He brought quite the spread including a few dozen bottles of liquor, some champagne, cokes, waters, and some chocolate treats for the sweet tooth.

The men sat around the table discussing the various prestigious products we're about to sample.

We'd each have a small sample of each selection. Nothing to overwhelm you, but just enough to taste and hopefully develop an appreciation for. Mr. Scotch was cool enough to help us find and understand the subtle differences between bottles.

Below are some night time views of the strip from the Penthouse. They didn't come out as well as I would have liked, so if you get nauseous from them, don't say didn't warn you.

From there we just sat around and enjoyed the spread before us. We sampled the wares before us, and had a nice comfortable time. Throughout the evening I snapped a few pics of the suite, which can be seen below.

Once the tasting party began to slow down slightly Mr. Scotch offered me another cigar from his travel humidor. I almost took him up on the gracious offer, but with the scotch being the primary ingredient in my near empty stomach, I passed. The decision now was to head downstairs to the high limit room and see what kind of baccarat action was to be had. MikeE, Mr. Scotch and I separated from the rest of the party and found not a lot of action happening in the high limit area.

A simple request resulted in the pit boss lowering a mini-baccarat table to a more suitable level. MikeE and Mr. Scotch bought in, while I sat down to watch and get a better grasp of the game. It looked like a decent game, and pretty easy once you get the basic rules down. I can certainly see where it'd be more fun if you could actually touch, rip, tear, poke, and otherwise handle the cards at the "Big" baccarat table. I now think I have a comfort level that might allow me to place a few bets on my next trip.

The guys took a break, and we left for a lounge shortly after a Lucy Liu look-a-like sat down. I swear it would have been her if she only had the light freckles across the bridge of her nose. Mr. Scotch was nice enough to point out to me "Dude, that girl is all kinds of pretty." Really? I hadn't noticed. I was too busy rolling my tongue back into my mouth. I was watching her more than the game at hand, but trying to not be obvious about it. I asked myself more than once "Could that really be her? Na...... No, wait, COULD IT? Na........" Yeah, she resembled her that much. Does Lucy Liu have a twin? If so, I saw her and sat within a few feet of her.

After sitting around a while, and shooting the breeze, I had to call it a night. My flight was an early one, and I had to wake up in 6 hours to get to the airport. I thanked Mr. Scotch once again for his hospitality this trip. It was a good time. I took one final picture of MikeE's sweet ass martini glass before cabbing it back to MGM.

The next morning check out was simple enough. After calling the front desk, they actually took off $44 from my bill. I assume $35 of that was from my "Activity Credit" which came with my offer. Hey, I'll take what I can get.

Once at the airport security moved fast enough, and no major hassles. I had the business center print out my boarding pass the day before, so all I had to do was check a bag and wait. My third meal of the trip consisted of a Cinna-bon cinnamon roll, and a diet coke. I don't care if they're a bazillion calories, it sounded good at the time.

I actually managed to sleep on the flight back, as I was still exhausted. Good times indeed.

Thanks again to Mr. Scotch and MikeE. You guys made the trip a blast! And another special thanks to Mr. Scotch for provided transportation for my lazy ass, and not to mention the HUGE spread in his room at Mirage. Thank you again for an awesome trip!